12 Pro Skaters You Maybe Thought Were Homeless

on Sunday, 25 August 2013. Posted in a

Have you ever been sitting on a street corner, worn out from a day of skating, when a random passerby throws spare change at your feet thinking you're some kind of bum??? No? Oh... Me neither. But hypothetically if that DID happen to you, we at SkateMore would like to point out that you wouldn't be alone, in fact you'd probably be in good company. It's with this in mind we present the 12 Pro Skaters You Maybe Thought Were Homeless.

  • Antwuan Dixon hasn't been in the game for long, but he's already a legend... For proof look no further than his debut part in Baker 3. That being said, there are really only two types of people who can rock that many face tattoos and get away with it... The well respected and the mentally insane. We'll give Antwuan the benefit of the doubt in being the former of the two, after all, with a smile like this, he can't be all bad. If you really want to see how chill this scary looking individual can be, kick back and watch him puff smoke in this Epicly Later'd clip.
  • Chris Haslam looks like the mad genius type of bum, the kind who would try to sell you a toaster contraption that allows you to read the President's mind. The kind that would stink like shit after a long day of building another absurd indoor obstacle course of madness. Who could possibly blame you for wanting to offer this poor, disheveled soul a warm cot and a hot meal?
  • Presumably a close relative to Chris Haslam, we have Gareth Stehr, who has truly blazed a trail to bum-chic perfection all his own. Here he can be seen making a guest appearance alongside Satva Leung in Toy Machine's "Welcome to Hell" showing off his fake eyeball around the 1:23 mark.
  • Jake Duncombe has the classic drunk bum look going on. Plus, his leg work gives one the impression that he makes money on the side as a practice dummy for aspiring tattoo artists. We couldn't find one picture of the dude looking sober, but we did unearth his epic part part in Volcom's "Let's Live". Check out the kinked rail at the end - Nuts!
  • I think Thrasher Magazine once described Jim Greco as looking like a pirate tranny hooker. They were referring to Greco circa 2002ish when I think he was also secretly playing in a glam band and never told anyone. His bearded days were pretty bummy as well. Recently though, Greco has ditched his feather boas in favor of a more understated look, which can be seen in the recent Deathwish Video.
  • Seriously... Try to picture this dude mean mugging you on the subway. You'd probably just keep your head down, pretending you don't notice him staring directly at you while you flip through the pages of Slap or whatever the hell you read. That is until you flip to a Supreme ad and think, 'Holy shit it's Jason Dill! He's probably looking at my Fucking Awesome shirt.'
  • Gonz makes the list as the eccentric bum. His look isn't particularly bummy, but if you were in the middle of SF's Tenderloin and saw Gonz yelling at his skateboard, 'I do the tricks, not you', you would likely just look the other way and keep walking. You might not recognize him as Mark Fuckin' Gonzales, especially if he had just sat down to help himself to the dessert off a paying customer's table. All we are saying is that, to the average passerby, Gonz probably does not look like a professional athlete who has spent 15 years with Adidas.
  • I don't know a lot about Sammy Baca, just that that he's from Las Vegas and does well under pressure. If he plays his cards right he can probably swing a deal with Head & Shoulders and finally get a commercial and website for his hair like Troy Polamalu. A lucrative haircare endorsement might be just what Baca needs to pull himself out of the gutter.
  • Lizard King aka The Artist Formerly Known As Mike Plumb, would fit right into any major American city standing on a pedestal while preaching the virtues of Satanic Worship to all non-believers. The funny thing is that Lizard actually isn't a bum street preacher and in fact this Deathwish rider lives in a baller pad.
  • Billy Waldman of "Kids" fame actually is homeless. Someone posted this video back in 2010 of Billy selling water color pictures in Union Square, NYC. A sad tale of life after professional skateboarding. Always have a back up plan "Kids", or at least don't do heroin. Wherever you are Billy we hope you're ok. UPDATE: Billy Waldman is not homeless and living in Brazil! NYC Authority Quartersnacks says it's true so we're inclined to believe it. Though if Billy has yet to shave his beard since this photo his status still applies to this article.
  • I know... You don't have to say it... We already have like half of the Baker dudes on this list. But how is it my fault that Brian "Slash" Hansen looks like he's trying to sell you this board he stole rather than show you it's HIS face on this pro Deathwish model?
  • Tom Penny kind of has the hashish bum look going on. We can totally picture him coming out of a dark alley in Barcelona and trying to get you to buy 'some of the good stuff man.' Truth be told, Penny doesn't have the bum-chic look that a lot of these other dudes have going on, but man that head scarf thing he wears has to get pretty crusty after a while.
  • What? Eric Koston mistaken for a bum??? Never! Check out SkateMore's next article, "Eric Koston: A History in 25 Photos"; And be sure to check back for new articles and updates every week!

Leave a comment

You are commenting as guest.